Pop Tarts – The New Saturday Night Special

Fox 45 Reports:

Children at Park Elementary School in Batimore went home with a letter today explaining there was a disruption in school. Seven year old Josh Welch, and his father, say the disruption lead to a two-day suspension for the second grader in Brooklyn Park.

Josh’s dad received a phone call from the school saying that Josh has been suspended for two days because he took his breakfast pastry and fashioned it into a gun.

Folks, you can’t make this stuff up!  Not the school officials’ reaction, which was completely in concert with the “zero tolerance policies” regarding this kind of behavior. No, I’m talking about these gun obsessed kids.  What is this world coming to when all kids can think about is guns, guns, guns?

Recall the Hello Kitty incident where the five-year old threatened mass shootings with her bubble gun.


Say Hello Kitty to my little friend.

Then there was the hand gun incident where two six-year olds were suspended for pointing their loaded fingers.


In an emergency session, the legislature is considering banning children’s hands, as they are proving to be dangerous assault weapons.  And the booger bullets will be limited to eight per mag. 

And now we have this seven going on thirty year old with the evil intention of murdering his classmates with his Pop Tart.  One look at the Pop Tart Website explains where they get their “ideas.”


Pop-Tarts® are Crazy Good™

Come play within the world of Crazy Good™ with fun comics, photo mash-ups, contests and more.

Ah Ha!  Crazy, just like the crazy loons who go on shooting sprees across the country using stolen weapons.  And, just what kind of contests do they have, hmmm?  Shooting contests??

Bored sprinkleless?

Come and have more fun playing one of our ahh-mazing Pop-Tarts®-inspired games.

Target practice, no doubt.  And sprinkles are code for bullets.


These babies are frosted and sprinkled and have plenty of strawberry-flavored goodness, so each bite is loaded with all the tasty bells and whistles.
Frosted and loaded.  Sounds like gun language to me!  And strawberry is the color of blood and guts!
Behold, the face of future crime in Maryland if we don’t stop it NOW.

Pop (Gun) Tart Killer – Stickey up your hands and give me all your dough!

We must work harder to indoctrinate teach these kids that guns are bad, even gun shaped pastries that can shoot strawberry seeds at 100 rounds a clip!  Hey, what are they doing eating pastries anyway?  Michelle Obama would not approve of that one bite!

In the meantime, the perp has lawyered up and has a defense:

Josh takes full responsibly for trying to shape his breakfast pastry, but admits it was in innocent fun. He told FOX45, “All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain but, it didn’t look like a mountain really and it turned out to be a gun kinda.”

When his teacher saw the strawberry tart he knew he was in trouble, he recalls, “She was pretty mad…and I think I was in big trouble.”

Just so you know, the poor teacher is suffering from Post Traumatic Gun Shaped Pop Tart Stress Disorder.

MOM sez:  “There is a sickness in this country and that sickness is gun violence.” 

Martin O’Malley

Bull’s eye, MOM – everybody in this country is SICK!   Er, you might want to put that finger down.  It’s sorta making me nervous.

However, now we know that when we take everybody’s guns away, they’ll just re-arm themselves with Pop Tarts.


Deadly – Hybrid Hello Kitty and Pop (Gun) Tart Military Style Assault Weapon.  Don’t think this is what the Founding Fathers had in mind!

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