It has been really tiring partying for the last three months. (Yawn). I am really tuckered out today – can hardly keep my big brownies open. (Yawn). Think I’ll just take a little nappy right here on this government protected field. No fracking around here to keep me awake.
Just hope I don’t get nightmares from that organic, farm-bred lobster arugula salad.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzz
WOW – what platitude am I on? Moving Maryland Forward? Yes, We Can? Am I in a dream?
Hello Little Jack.
I’m Jon Stewart, and I will be your Dream Guide today. I was picked because most of America gets their news from me. Let me introduce you to our New World Order.
Meet Honey Boo Boo. The sheeple just love her, and she now has the most popular show on TV!
“I like to get in the mud, because I like to get dirty like a pig.”
WOW – her talking gut sounds just like a politician! Maybe it and she can run for President.
You see, Little Jack, we now live in a world where illegal immigrants can get health benefits and college degrees, and you can buy booze and gamble with your food stamps. Even pot is legal. Kids of all ages can get birth control and their parents will never know. Government is the only entity “creating jobs”. And best of all, men can marry men, women can marry women, and professional athletes are free to be gay!
I really don’t want to touch you, Jason. You might get the wrong idea!
And, our electricity will be powered by the wind! MOM led the way on that one.
Sometimes we can wash our clothes and dry our hair if the wind blows hard enough!
And we are taxing rain! Money is literally falling from the sky.
Siiiiiinging in the rain, and caaaaaashing in on rain!
And everybody will soon have healthcare, except the 20 million who use to. And not many will live longer than age 70, as we like to recycle. Over time, our population will be very youthful. Won’t that be fun?
Sorry lady, at your age, you just don’t fit the rubric to use our Healthcare services. Just take two aspirin, and go to bed forever!
Gun ownership is severely restricted, our military defense is hobbled, we send loads of money to Egypt and other places run by the Muslim Brotherhood, and there are jihad outbursts on a regular basis. Nobody is afraid of us anymore. And the folks in Washigton are more corrupt than the Chicago mafia. No insult intended to the Chicago mafia. We are going to hell in a handbasket. Isn’t this great?
Little Jack? Little Jack?
OMG, I just had a terrible dream. Wait, I don’t think it was a dream. It’s real! Oh NOOOOOOOOO – I’m just a simple Democrat, not a Socialasst! How did this all happen? Jon, why didn’t you tell me what was really going on? Why?????
Guess I’ll have to switch to Chris Matthews for my news. Time to get serious.