Gorillas are Rockin the Jail House

The Maryland Zoo boasts the Chimpanzee Forest, where mammals live and play and procreate, sequestered away from other interfering species.  Humans delight in climbing the hill on the Druid (yes Druid) Hill Park zoo campus to the summit where the caged monkeys emulate living in their natural habitat, playing along in anticipation of a big banana payback at closing.

Down the road apiece is another Forest, this one filled with Gorillas.  It too features cages and handlers and mammals who live and play and procreate freely behind bars.  And there are lots of banana paybacks.  Except this Forest isn’t exactly open to the public.

detention

Who knew the Baltimore Detention Center was another zoo?

According to The Daily Mail (yes, this is International news):

Federal prosecutors say 13 female correctional  officers, seven inmates and five others with gang ties have been charged with  plotting to smuggle drugs, cellphones and other contraband into the Baltimore  jail and other corrections facilities.  An indictment unsealed Tuesday said the ring  also involved sex between inmates and guards that led to four of the officers  becoming pregnant by Tavon White, leader of a jailhouse gang called the Black  Guerrilla Family.

Murderer and Black Guerrilla Family member Tavon White got FOUR GUARDS pregnant (one twice!!!)   What a shot!

tragor

Meet TayGor, the inmate primate who has a new job counseling men with ED.

In an attempt to explain why four guards supervised their wards lying on their backs instead of standing up, officers stated that the gang targeted those with “low self-esteem and insecurities.”  White allegedly gave gifts to three corrections officers. Owens, Stevenson and Brooks received a diamond ring and luxury cars.

kim

Women who love money, jewelry, sex and cars typically have low self-esteem.

TayGor could also get a job as a CEO, as he got a lot of experience running the jail.

The Washington Post reports that during a  wiretapped cellphone call made by White in January, he told a friend: ‘This is  my jail. You understand that? I’m dead serious. I make every final call in this  jail.’

And just who is really in charge (or should be)?

Secretary Gary Maynard is taking full responsibility.

“It becomes embarrassing for me when we expose ourselves and we participate in an investigation that’s going to show what’s going on in our jails that I am not proud of,” Maynard said.

Say what, pantywaist?  No wonder TayGor took over the joint.  You need testosterone to run a place like that.  Probably not a good idea to have females minding male inmates, though.

MOM is in Israel right now on a fact-finding mission to determine if Jerusalem is really the capital, and in between bites of matzoh he said:

“We have zero tolerance for corruption among correctional officers, and we will continue striving to make all correctional facilities as secure as they can possibly be,” the governor said.

So, thirteen female corrections officers, seven inmates and five alleged co-conspirators are charged with racketeering, money laundering and possession with the intent to distribute. Officials say all 13 have been suspended without pay and the department is moving to fire them.

Five new babies just joined the welfare system, with possibly 13 adult women not far behind.  Yippee – 18 Democrat voters!!!

Er, if the 25 are charged, will they be going to jail?

Yeah baaaaaaaaaaby!  Partaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

elvis

Everybody in the old cell block, dancin’ to the jailhouse rock!

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