Arrivederci Maryland

I was just polishing the rubber stamp in MOM’s office in preparation for the Bill Signing Ceremony, when I came across this on his desk:

Dear Mr. OweMalley,

As you know, we are a 500 year old, world renowned Italian company.  We opened our domestic manufacturing plant in Maryland 35 years ago, and have been hugely successful, in spite of all of your grabs at our revenue and your anti-business legislation.  We employ hundreds of Maryland citizens, and are the Number One standard sidearm supplier in the world, providing 500,ooo units to the Armed Forces. 

We made it clear to you in 1990 when you tightened gun legislation that we would move out of your state if it got worse.  You assured us that you would not go any further in stomping on the Second Amendment.  Then you met Obama at a golf outing, and the rest is history. 

You lied and gun ownership died in Maryland! We will not sit back idly and continue to  make the guns that you now say will be illegal to purchase.  After what you have done to us and all the law-abiding citizens in this now Un-Free state, we have no choice but to move to Virginia.

May the maggots of a thousand espicey meatballs in vermicelli infest your underpants.

Arrivederci and Good Riddance!



 Well!  Just who does he think he is? How dare he disrespect MOM like that!  With that attitude, we don’t want him in Maryland anyway.


Ciao, and take your nasty bird with you!

Mikey Miller made this observation:


“I’m concerned. I think they’re going to move,” Maryland Senate President Thomas V. Mike Miller Jr., told the Post. “They sell guns across the world and in every state in the union — to places a lot more friendly to the company than this state.”

Er, duh? Not sure why he said this, except he may have been a little tipsy from all those Appletinis at McGarvey’s.

No matter, we will always do MOM’s bidding, cause MOM is moving our State Forward!  Well, maybe a little more to the left than forward.

OK, my work is finished here.  The bills will be landing on MOM’s desk any minute.


Due to the sequester cutbacks, we will no longer be using rubber stamps.  We are forced to use potatoes instead.

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