Revenue Pour Les Miserables

Not so long ago, a dictionary search of the word revenue would have returned this definition:

Revenue is the total amount of money received by a company for goods sold or services provided  during a certain time period.  It also includes all net sales, exchange of assets; interest and any other increase in owner’s equity, and is calculated before any expenses are  subtracted.

Now if you look in the dictionary, the very first and most important definition of revenue is this:

Revenue is the income of a government from all sources appropriated for the payment of the public expenses.

See how even dictionaries are helping us to indoctrinate position our role in the world.  Not only that, but we don’t even have to cold call to get our revenue!!!!

If you are in some kind of business,  you didn’t build that!  You had a teacher who battled rozenbrigez to get to you for mentoring sessions. You owe everything that rightly belongs to you to them meaning us.  So just forget about the capitalistic definition already!  It doesn’t really apply anymore.

We love the word revenue because it sounds so, well, French and romantic.  Unlike tax, that rhymes with ax.  And our French Comptroller loves the word too, as using it makes him feel at home among the cheezies and surrender monkies.

franchot

Bonjour.  Mon nom est Pierre Franchot, et I collect all of vous revenue.

Pierre is in a little hot l’eau at the moment, as he wants to be Governor when MOM becomes Prezy and he did a little “relationship building” on the taxpayer dime:

Two state senators are questioning travel expenses incurred by Comptroller Peter Franchot to distribute four kinds of awards at ceremonies around the state .  The comptroller noted the costs of (his travel to deliver) the awards amounted to just more than $5,000, a fraction of what it costs Maryland taxpayers to house a lawmaker in Annapolis for the 90-day session.

What’s the big deal.  So what if Pierre makes up a little certificate saying Bestest Football Player in the World and hand delivers it to Flacco along with a Franchot For Guv Palm Card?    He’s just doing a little “personal” revenue generating.

Back to generating revenue “for the masses”.  We have three exciting new prospects – bags, cigarettes, and hunting licenses.

Starting with the bag tax – it is truly brilliant and Maryland will be FIRST again!  We will be the first to levy a statewide tax on plastic and paper bags.  And we can nail every shopper make everyone socially responsible because they will either PAY UP or bring a their own bags.  What to put the cat poo in, you ask?  Well, you can just buy a box of bags for that.

We’ve heard the requisite whining that the bag tax will affect Les Miz, but gimme a break – it’s only a nickel a bag (but will bring in millions).  Plus, it was proposed by our fave Senator, Jamie “Casino Royale” Raskin:

raskinchess_zpse396c167

Gawd, and I thought those gun hearings were boring.  I’ve played every stinkin black jack game on this system. Need to get my Aide to upload Mahjong.  

Next, we will be taxing cigarettes (actual word in French).  Maybe even the electronic ones!

cig

Better smoke it down to the nub – you’re wasting at least a fifty cents here!

Per the Salisbury News: Under a bill from Del. Eric Luedtke, D-Montgomery County, (the cigarette tax) would jump from $2 per pack to $3. The tax rate on other tobacco products would leap from 30 percent to 95 percent of their wholesale price.

Goodness, all this jumping to $3 and leaping to 95%.  This isn’t a ballet, we are just busy generating revenue.  We we will bring in over $400 million per year, to help Les Miz and Les Petite Miz.

So what if it hurts Les Miz, who tend to be big smokers – they can just go to Virginia if they want it cheaper.  Actually, after we get finished nailing them applying our gas tax revenue, they may have to buy here. But they don’t seem to mind paying $6.70 a pack now.

Last, but never least, another creative revenue source is hunting licenses:

stag

Hey, don’t look at me.  It wasn’t my idea.

The bill proposes to raise the cost of a hunting license by $20.00 for hunters age 16-64.  It also:

* Boosts a nonresident adult license from $130 to $150.

• Mandates that DNR impose fees upon nonhunters who use wildlife management areas.

• Use fines for wildlife violations to fund WHS (Wildlife Heritage) programs.

• Authorizes MOM to allocate general funds to be stored in a new State Wildlife Management and Protection Fund and used for   wildlife management  (oh no, another cookie jar for MOM).

At least we haven’t taken their guns away (yet).

We have loads of other ideas for generating revenue, but these are particularly clever and more unobtrusive than income, property, inheritance, gas, sales, and retirement taxes revenues, to name a few.  And Les Miz might not have property, income, retirement savings, cars, etc.  So we need to cover our bases to get a little revenue from everyone!

Because it’s really not about Les Miz.

It’s about US!

And Pierre says, Merci Beaucoup!

tower

Crazy rozenbridgez under here.

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