We in the People’s Republic of Maryland are so lucky to have a governor who really cares about us. Why, MOM is just like a Big Brother to us.
He brilliantly figured out that if he took all of our guns away, no crazy people could steal them and use them against us. He also determined that the death penalty doesn’t work and is costing us money that we could be spending on schools, babies, the elderly, and homeless kittens. Or is it roads and bridges? Nevermind, they all pull at our heart-strings.
Like a good MOM/Big Brother, he wants to oversee our lives to make sure we are good neighbors and good stewards of our amazing and fragile environment. With his new gun legislation, he will have all of our fingerprints in a database, and he can even come in and check our homes. And with SmartMeters, he will know just how much electricity and water we use to make sure we don’t have big carbon feetprints.
Before, when we had DumbMeters, poor meter readers had to traipse through our yards, risking dog, snake and poison ivy to find our little bubble covered devices. Now we have SmartMeters that can transmit data directly to the utility companies.
What is so great is that our houses will be on a grid, and the companies can compare our consumption with our neighbors. For example, the Jones next door have way too many kids and their washing machine runs incessantly. Not only that, the grandfather is on a ventilator, and they have to keep the heat up really high. This is not good for our environment, and is a major cause of global warming. So, the utility company called him and told him they were going to shut off his usage at various times during the day to stay in compliance with everybody else on the grid. If he can’t be a good steward on his own, somebody else will make sure he is, just to be fair. I do hope granddad can hold his breath for a long time.
What do SmartMeters look like?
No, silly. That’s HAL from 2001, A Space Odyssey. But the SmartMeter is just as smart!
Look at me. I am just an innocent little device, here to help you.
Some people have these wild notions that the meters cause fires and emit lots of radiation. Hey, we are the only ones who care about the environment and would never do anything to hurt our precious resources. And we haven’t seen a single baby with a tail.
This isn’t caused by the SmartMeter.
We make installation easy. Since you all want one, they are installed without you even knowing. On the rare chance that you don’t want one, you have to notify us. And you may not even know that. We make it so you don’t know what you don’t know. Doesn’t that make your life much easier?
Some little legislator has two bills about our meters; not to stop them mind you, but to pull the reins in a bit:
HB 1038 prohibits electric companies from installing smart meters if the customer does not wish to have the meter and prohibits penalties for this “opt out”.
HB 1066 prohibits electric companies from releasing customer data to third parties for any reason other than preparation of billing.
We will get our way, eventually. Especially since the SmartMeter is part of the New World Order of Plan Maryland and Agenda 21.
To quote Orwell’s 1984:
One world, one life at a time.