Mike and (M)ike – Fruity But in No Way Sweet

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Meet Thomas V. “Mike” Miller, POWerful President of the Maryland Senate.  He has served in the Senate since 1975,  and as President since 1987, longer than any other senate president in Maryland history.

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He’s the one on the left, of course.  Separated at birth?

This Mike is crafting his own gas tax bill.

Under Miller’s proposal, the state would impose a new 3 percent sales tax on gasoline at the wholesale level. The Calvert County Democrat’s plan includes a regional tax that would allow counties to collect up to 5 cents per gallon for transportation projects specifically benefiting them. Maryland’s 23.5-cent-per-gallon tax has been unchanged since 1992.

“It’s a tough sell,” said Miller. “You need to make the juice worth the squeeze.”

And if they are bone dry with no juice, we just turn ’em upside down and shake out the change.

Now meet Michael “Mike” E. Busch, POWerful Speaker of the House.  He was elected a Delegate in 1987, and to the Speaker position in 2003.

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Talk to the hand.

He is the longest serving Speaker in Maryland history.

These Mikes are so fat and happy at the government trough devoted to their constituents that they will probably die in their jobs.  When  Mike M turned 70, he vowed that he will “be the thing that never leaves.”  So they just gave up on his retirement and  named a building after him even though he is still in office.  The Baltimore Sun joked in true Dangerfield form:

Take Mike Miller — please.

Both Mikes have never met a tax they didn’t like, and they usually agree on legislation to steal from the taxpayers raise revenues.  However, MOM was not happy with either last year because Session ended and they had not agreed on a balanced budget.

MOM had to send them to their rooms for a “Special” Session in the Spring.  But they still wrasseled like school boys on the playground.  Mike M wanted the focus to be on a second casino operation, and Mike B wanted to pass a comprehensive revenue plan.  The two Mikes’ sibling rivalry made lots of headlines and really made MOM mad:

(Per the Washington Post: At a hastily assembled news conference before 1 a.m., as lawmakers shuffled out of the State House, O’Malley blasted the two chambers, led by members of his own party, for endangering spending on education, among other priorities.

“I think the people of our state have reason to expect more of our elected officials,” O’Malley said.

The boys did finally get together to pass their “doomsday” budget.   The budget package included transferring  money between designated funds and shifting the cost of teachers’ pensions from the state to the counties (tax, tax, tax). The other raises income taxes on the top 13.7 percent of earners by as much as 0.75 percent.

There was a second session held in August for Mike M’s casino.  Mikey got his way, and comrades will now have a new place to lose contribute their money to the government when the new casino is built at National Harbor.

This year  MOM has big, BIGGER, and BIGGEREST plans for Maryland, proposing a budget of $37.3 billion clams for F 2014.  That’s B as in Biggest Budget Evah and a 4% increase over this year with – you guessed it – no spending cuts.  If the Mikes work together this time to pass it, MOM will have increased the budget by a unpresecented 42.5% since he has been in office.

Wow, we are looking more like France everyday, n’est-ce-pas?

But back to Mike and Mike.  We know they are fruity, but are they flavorful?  Right off the bat, neither are the red kind.  Mike M has been orange after boating on the Bay.  Both have been green and lemon sour.   We are sure to see their true colors during this legislative session.  Mike and Mike will be only the blueberry kind.

Hey, does this stuff cause cavities?

2 Responses to “Mike and (M)ike – Fruity But in No Way Sweet”

  1. Amy Leahy Says:

    Hahahaha. Can I share this with my buds?


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