SuperBowl Heartburn, And It’s Not The ESSpicy Chicken Wings

Somebody always  has a cause and Anybody can join in. Everybody can hear about it, but when it comes to the Super Bowl, Nobody gives a whit about anything except FOOTBALL.

Gimme a D, Gimme an I, Gimme an E, Gimme a T

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Photo (Facebook)

Meet Courtney Lenz, Five Year Veteran Ravens Cheerleader dissed by the Ravens cheer squad: According to her, the Ravens “promote self-esteem” but cut her because she’s fat.  Now she feels discriminated against because of her weight and is making International news with the story.

Not everybody is upset with their weight.

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Bootylicious… meet the 420lb mother of four with the widest hips in the world who measures a staggering 8ft in circumference  Whoa, that’s one big ass and I”m not talking donkey. 

The Ravens are defending their position, saying that they had to choose 32 from 60 cheerleaders and that Courtney did not make the cut. And afterall, she did tell them she was retiring.

(Courtney, go on the US Economy Diet.  It’s shrinking.)

Meet Linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo: he wants to promote gay marriage.   (See previous post)

Meet Niners Chris Culliver: He defends (and then caves) on the straight life.

“I don’t do the gay guys man,” said Culliver, whose Niners play the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday. “I don’t do that. No, we don’t got no gay people on the team, they gotta get up out of here if they do.

“Can’t be with that sweet stuff. Nah…can’t be…in the locker room man. Nah.”

He has since retracted his statement (and even changed his syntax), and the Niners spokesman said they are all in for LGBT.  However, his remarks have made it hard for gay athletes to go public.  Gosh darnit, there is ALWAYS somebody standing in the way of somebody elses happiness!!

Meet Barbara Lippert, of Media Post:  She is making a stink over the VW ad where the white guy talks in a Jamaican accent.  This is so racist, says she.

Meet Imam Ali Siddiqui:  He says the Coca-Cola Super Bowl ad is racist to Arabs because a camel rider slakes his thirst with a “Coke oasis” in the desert.

Meet Roy Fox of Pendleton, Indiana:  He was screwed out of his trademarking of the name “Harbowl” by the big guns at the NFL.

Nuf said about Manti Te’O, Marino’s love child, former NFL player Kwame Harris’ fight with his ex-boyfriend over soy sauce, etc. 

Finally, there was almost going to be a shortage of Chicken Wings!  

Americans will wolf down 1.23 billion chicken wings this Super Bowl weekend, or nearly four wings for each and every US citizen, the National Chicken Council estimates.  That’s B as in Buffalo!

They will be a little more expensive.  Only the 1% can afford them.  (Calm down – just kidding).

So Super Bowl Watching America: go grab a bunch of rowdy friends, mix up some spicy dips, saturate yourself with beer and let the testosterone blow like a geyser.  Ignore all of this discrimination, homophobia, sexism, racism, corporate bullying, marital infidelity, imaginary lovers and classism.  Somebody is always offended and wants Everybody and Anybody to listen, but this Sunday, NOBODY cares about anything but the G.A.M.E.  

Unless Beyoncé lip-synchs the National Anthem.  Oh dear.

BALTIMORE  RAVENS photo baltimore_ravens-13558.jpg

Go Ravens.

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