The Adventures of PinnochiO’Malley

Once upon a time there was a poor cobbler named Geppetto who carved a tree branch into a puppet. “You shall be my boy” exclaimed Geppetto, “and I shall call you PinnochiO’Malley.  It’s a lucky Irish name.”


PinnochiO’Malley was very poorly behaved, disrespectful to Geppetto, and basically acted like an ass (how prescient).

The Republicans always heard crickets around PinnochiO’Malley.  But one day, a really smart cricket named Jiminy told him that he better start respecting all of the people of Maryland, abide by the Maryland and US Constitutions.  You see, Jiminy Cricket was actually a conscience.  PinnochiO’Malley quickly squished Jiminy with his wooden foot.

PinnochiO’Malley was really upset that Geppetto lived a meager life, so he decided to do something about it.  Starting with taxing the rich, although the definition of rich has been downsized quite a bit.

O’Malley has raised taxes and fees roughly 20 times since 2007

Except no matter how many times he raised taxes, the money never seemed to get to the places for which it was “advertised”.  Like the poor, transportation or really saving the Bay.

PinnochiO’Malley decided that teachers unions education was the most important thing to focus on in the People’s Republic of Maryland (or the greatest snow job to squeeze more money out of the comrades).  He told his “Dad”…..

“I’d like to go to school to become clever and help you when you’re old!” Geppetto was touched by this kind thought.  (Little did Geppetto know about Obamacare and the death panels, but old people just won’t listen to the Republicans).

The governor budgeted a record $6.03 billion for public education in fiscal 2014, a $206.2 million or 3.5 percent increase over this year. It’s a $1.56 billion or 35 percent increase over fiscal 2007 funding, when O’Malley took office.

PinnochiO’Malley goes to school, then law school, then marries the daughter of the Attorney General of Maryland, then is Mayor of Baltimore, then Governor of Toyland.

Now Toyland was just as Carlo (the school friend) had described it: the boys all had great fun and there were no lessons. You weren’t even allowed to whisper the word “Constitution”, and PinocchiO’Malley could hardly believe he was able to play all the time.

All of PinnochiO’Malley’s friends became donkeys, and so did he.


For such was the fate that awaited naughty little boys that played truant
from school to spend all their time playing games.

A Circus Man bought PinocchiO’Malley (now a full blown Socialist donkey) to teach him to do tricks like his other  performing animals.

HMMMM – could that “Circus Man” be Barack Obama?  Tricks? Like this:

Yes We Can Blame the GOP For Unemployment, says PinnochiO’Malley.

PinnochiO’Malley ran away (he’s always running for from something) and jumped into the Chesapeake Bay.  It was so polluted and globally warmed!  But he had a plan.  And he used those double entendre words again – plan, sustainable and resources!!

Plan Maryland  

PlanMaryland is the State’s first plan for sustainable growth and development. It will emphasize planning that encourages us to be more efficient and less wasteful of valuable resources. 

Fortunately for all, one particularly intrepid donkey saved PinnochiO”Malley.

Can This Picture Of A Donkey On A Boat Get More Fans Than The President?

PinnochiO’Malley, are you down there?

However, PinnochiO’Malley would be cursed forever, for whenever he told a lie, his nose would grow.  And boy did he tell some whoppers at his State of the State Address yesterday.


Larry Hogan of Change Maryland criticizes the speech, saying, “The governor is  good at making up numbers, spinning magical tales, with no basis in reality.

So that’s where they are getting the wood for those windmills.

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